Loneliness

 To Sammy loneliness was an everyday feeling as unbearable as it was it was familiar. Attending school was about the only thing he did that included other people. Playing videogames online was as lonely as the rest of his life. It was clear the other players were far away and had no interest in getting to know him, not that he wanted to get to know them as they were avatars in a virtual world. To believe that the other players looked like their avatars was as naïve as believing they cared who he was. His persona online, his avatar was a strong fighter, at one metre eighty, and ninety kilos of pure muscle, dark skin, green eyes, and curly black hair. In addition, his avatar had a beautiful girl as his sidekick. In real life Sammy was an overweight, clumsy boy too big for his age, with flat feet, bad eyesight and didn’t have a sidekick. The parrot residing in his room didn’t count. Although, there were times when Sammy thought that his bird was his only friend.

Sammy was a very good student. His class mates often asked him to help them with their homework. Many times, after getting help, his classmates invited him to hang around with them, but those activities didn’t erase the sense of abandonment he constantly felt. He was already seventeen years old and hadn’t had a girlfriend yet while most classmates were or had been involved in romantic relationships. 

One summer afternoon as he was biking to his grandmother’s. As he pedaled a particular steep hill, Sammy remembered what she had said last time he visited her “-such a lovely sad young man you are. I wish you could eat less and smile more-” the sentence stuck with him. She couldn’t know how much that expression had hurt him. 

As Sammy locked his bike to the railing of his grandmother’s front yard, he heard voices. He looked up to see where the voices were coming from. Sammy realised someone was visiting his granny. “They were chatting,” he thought, “dare I say happily?” Although Sammy couldn’t see who the visitor was, he realised his grandmother and her guest were sitting on the porch surrounding her old house.

As Sammy climbed the few steps to the porch, he was thinking that he would have to share his grandmother’s treats, cookies, and shortbread with someone else. Now he had to be nice and polite, probably, to another little old lady from church he thought. Putting aside his frustrating thoughts, Sammy called to his grandmother with a happy “Hi gran, your favorite grandson is here.” 

His grandmother responded with the same enthusiasm “Sammy glad you came, we are here, enjoying lemonade and cookies.” As Sammy kissed his granny’s forehead he looked at her visitor with curiosity. She was a young woman, about his age, with a familiar face. Sammy was sure he had seen her before. The young woman was smiling at him, and was wearing old ripped, jeans, work boots, a tank top with an old overshirt, and on the floor beside her a well used pair of garden gloves and an old sun hat. “Hi,” the young visitor said “I’m Ivette. Call me Iv everybody does. You must be Sammy. Your granny was talking about you just before you showed up.” 

At that moment Sammy’s grandmother said: “Sammy, after you have some lemonade, please show Iv the back garden. She has been working with me in the front garden, but the back garden is becoming a little bit too much for me. So, I want Iv to deal with the weeds. Please help her.” 

At the end of the day, as Sammy was biking home, he realised how easy it had been for him to relate to Iv. She wasn’t judgemental at all and had a great sense of humor. Clearly, she was into the same thing he was into, they had talked about the video game, school, plans for the summer, and for university. Sammy learned Iv didn’t have a boyfriend and was into gardening, the only thing he wasn’t into, but he didn’t mind. In fact, Sammy discovered that he had enjoyed working in the garden with her. So much so his biking gloves were filthy. Sammy had left before Iv because he was expected at home while Iv had her evening free and was going to stay longer visiting with his grandmother. 

That evening Sammy couldn’t concentrate on the videogame he religiously played. Although he was feeling anxious it was a different kind of anxiety. A new feeling for him. It was a mix of emotions that he couldn’t explain. Sammy’s thoughts were fixed on how much fun he had working in the garden and how comfortable he felt with Iv. 

He realised he wanted to work in his grandmother’s garden for the rest of the summer. Every day he would bike and work with Iv. Sometimes he just watered the plants and other times he weeded. His grandmother was so impressed with Sammy’s dedication that she gifted him a brand-new pair of garden gloves, and a very expensive pair of biking gloves and a helmet. At the same time Sammy was noticing that biking to his grandmother had become easier even the steep hill was not that hard. 

By the end of the summer the garden was being shown in a local magazine as an example of beauty and dedication. The magazine had awarded a special photo display, and the front cover showed Sammy and his grandmother beside the garden. 

As September arrived Sammy had to go back to school and time at his grandmother’s became less frequent. 

One Saturday afternoon Sammy showed up at his grandmother's she was, as usual, enjoying the afternoon on the porch. Sammy asked her if she needed help with the garden, she responded that the next step would be later in the month or in October when they would put the garden to sleep That was when Sammy inquired about Iv. His grandmother responded “Who?” In vain Sammy tried to explain who he was talking about. His grandmother finally said, “what the-hell-are you-talking about?”

Frustrated, Sammy stormed out of the house leaving earlier than usual. For the first time in a long while he went online to play his video game he hadn’t played since he and Iv had been working together. 

As he had not played for a while the platform asked if he wanted to update his avatar. Sammy chose his same old avatar. Then the game asked him if his avatar required a sidekick. The game showed options for the avatar’s sidekick. 

It was at this point when Sammy realised that Iv was the exact image of his avatar’s sidekick. Seeing the picture on the screen spooked him. Sammy logged off the game and promptly shut down his computer. He jumped onto his bike and went back to his grandmother’s. 

Sammy apologised to her for his earlier behaviour and asked her, “Did any one help me work in your garden?” His grandmother responded “I helped you in the front garden, the back garden you tackled by yourself. I have never seen you work so hard. Why do you ask? 

Sammy’s response was “I don’t know, I guess, I needed to work with my hands. I guess I’m feeling a bit guilty we don’t have more to do this year.” His grandmother hugged him saying “There will be other years to work the garden” to which Sammy responded, “grand did you ever watch a TV show from the sixties called “The Twilight Zone?”